ursoreckless | IC Voice/Message Box

there's fido, fifi, spot, kitteh, slither...

i need more names for the attack goons

let's come up with names

just not fido. don't use fido. i don't like fido. how about toothpick douchebag?

okay
toothpick douchebag?
it's a little long for a pet kind of name

i'm not real good at pet names.

alrighty
i guess we'll just have to wing it with target practice

now that I like the sound of.

just don't accidentally shoot me or anything
i make really girly sounds of pain
seriously
like high squeals sounds even

I won't even aim near you. I mean girly squeals sounds kind of hilarious but I wouldn't want to hurt you. I still don't really like the idea of hurting anyone.

[Which makes these conflicting feelings really confusing and distressing.]

hey
targets are just straw and paper
there's no one to hurt and they will never bleed or do anything

people are worse, but one thing i have learned about this?
about having these abilities and knowing that some where in my head is a trigger that'll make me kill?
i am shooting to protect those that can't protect themselves
i'm using my skills that hurt someone to keep those kids on this thing from getting hurt worse
and if i get to that point where it is kill or be killed?
i might end up doing that as well
because my other was someone who had to live by his wits and his skills with a gun
he grew up with no one but his small gang
he saw his parents get killed in riots that the police didn't care about until it spilled over into the rich sections of the city
if i can prevent something like that from happening, i will
even if it means having to hurt someone else

just straw. Alright i can do straw. ...shit, dude. That's. I think I underst- no, I do. I get it and you're right. I didn't know that about you and your other but i understand. I think we've got more in common than i knew. Thank you. For laying it out for me like that. I kept telling myself if i crossed that line there's no turning back But there never was to begin with.

doesn't even have to be man shaped, we can shoot at circles if that makes it better

not very many people do any more
most of them have gone offline

there really isn't the moment you can see the network
the thing to remember is to find a balance within yourself for you and your other
something that both of you can agree on
something both of you will not do
it's a little crazy living with this other memory and life in your skull, but if you can find a balance, then it all becomes easier

that might be easier to start with, yeah. I know I'm being a wuss about this but bear with me. I'm sorry. How often does that happen anyway? Hm... you know that's really helpful. Thank you again. I know i probably don't show it much but you've helped me a lot since i first signed on. I don't know what that thing could be, yet, but I'll try to find it I still don't know enough about him. Who, or what he was. Just a name now. That's somewhere to start I guess.

hey, you ain't being a wuss
you're being a beginner

i've lost count

better than me
all i got was a sunset and a song

you know my parents always told me to be gentle to never hit or scream to get my way, because how would I like it if anyone did that to me? i've tried to keep my promise to them all this time guess i'll have to break it. it's alright i've broken a lot of them over the years maybe they'll forgive me someday. that's kinda sad. do you think we'll all forget once this is all over? how long until you got something you could start to understand about him?

i would say to them that you had to protect those you care about
you have to become hard because there are so many who are not
and you have these skills and it would be a waste to not use them when you can prevent others from getting hurt worse
i think that they would understand
it's not about breaking a promise
it's about making a bigger promise to those that cannot do what you can

i don't know. i hope not i've met some good people on here

a few months. i got bits and pieces of stuff that he had or things like the accent before i got a real memory

... thank you. Really, I mean it. I don't know what else to say but that that really puts it into perspective I'm going to use that, when they ask if that's alright with you Hah apparently my other agrees with you. Guess we're on the same page after all. I hope not, too. As bad as some things have been I don't want to forget. It'd cheapen the whole thing. Hah, yeah, me too. I got the nasty temper, funny hair, and a sword long before I got any idea of what the guy was about or even who he was. Unrelated[Right.] but what are your feelings on demons?

Edited (one day I'll be happy with this bluh) 2014-09-06 21:45 (UTC)

go right ahead
use it whenever you ask yourself what we are doing

he does? well, that's lucky

it will cheapen everything forgetting

i even got a bullet scar right in my lung

considering where i might be going? they're people too
unless they are the people that are trying to stomp on me and then they will become a target

maybe i should write it down and keep it with me for a while I think I'll do that. tell me about it. maybe he wasn't a complete lunatic after all. shit, how did you get that? but you're right, it'd cheapen everything. and hey, with the scars we've got now we'll make a matching set. ...don't jump the gun on me too quick. i have a hard time going after a mobster you think I could turn on you?

i tell it to myself every time i remember another piece of my other's world

can still be crazy, just smart crazy, you know?

we were goofing around with water guns after taking pictures for a book and we decided to act out a goofy gangster or old west movie with the one bullet left thing, right? next thing i knew, i was under water with them trying to get me out of it and a bullet wound on my chest. it's faded down a bit now and looks about six years old, but according to the ct i had, i should have been shot dead but instead i have scarring inside and out from it

no i don't. i mean if someone attacks me i will defend myself not that i will kill them
i don't think i can do that yet

it helps, it really does. you've helped me a lot already heh, I think you're right about that. smart crazy, had to have a plan facing down his own version of the mafia by himself, right? uh, wow, shit? wait why did the water gun shoot bullets-- you know what that's probably not the important part. i'm glad you're not dead, for what it's worth? kinda like talking to you. i... still don't know how to deal with it, I mean. i didn't. didn't mean to didn't want to. didn't have a choice.

that's good
i don't want you to feel like this can't be liveable

right. got to always have a plan facing down the mafia by yourself

even though i think my other, he didn't care if he walked away from it alive

it didn't he shot me with his water gun and my didn't have anything left so down i went and suddenly i had a scar
me too i wouldn't have met you otherwise

sometimes we don't have a choice
sometimes these things hit us and we just got to figure out what we can from them
maybe you still have a piece missing
i mean it took me a long time before i managed to get enough information to know why my other and his one friend were trying to kill each other.
it took a very long time to get the last bit of the puzzle.
your demon might be like that
it might need one more bit before you know enough about it to control it

i'm pretty good at surviving. even when things get tough, you know? but you're right it's harder when you can't just run away from it anymore. sure would've liked in on the details, might've saved me a scar or two. don't echo that back, Shou, you're too important for that alright? you echoed a scar? you can do that? i didn't know that was a thing. same. don't know where i'd be otherwise. trying to kill each other? I feel like I'm missing a lot of bits. this is a hell of a mess of a puzzle, man. i'm not very good at puzzles. I've gotten back some really messed up memories. still trying to sort them all out.

i know
i'm starting to understand how to survive myself

wouldn't we all at one time or another?

i won't
rather i think that it would be okay since it doesn't feel like an end

a scar, some crazy hairstyle, this accent, on and on

yeah they were running around in the huge crumbled building shooting at each other, laughing about it
but my other
he was hurt too
he was really disappointed in the guy and he was sad

the pieces will come to you sometime
just don't try to force it too much

you're pretty smart, you'll do fine. but if you ever need help don't be afraid to look me up I owe you several by now you've got a point it doesn't? what do you mean? will wonders never cease. I should stop being surprised. sad because of the fight you think? or the not fight, they were laughing was it a game? hell of a game if it was. yeah I think i'm getting ahead of myself. just not really sure what to do anymore. things used to make sense. it was easier when the worst i had to worry about was figuring out where my next meal would come from, and that's really freaking me out.

i know money
i'm use to money
trying to figure out where the next meal is coming from?
that i don't know but my other
he knew
i'll call you when i need that help

it feels like there is more going to happen to the story
i don't know how else to explain it really

i even got a can full of money from a place called mallepa

the fight was a game i think
no i think they had a falling out. he and my other talked a little about how things were and how things are and it made my other so sad that this person just walked away from everything
even his sister

we can't make sense of anything but we can hold on until it does
or until a rock falls with the hint on it in big huge letters

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